OCD…no, really

Today is Day 18, and I feel like I’ve not got as far along with this blog as I had hoped to by this point. I have yet to post a picture of any outfit!

I downloaded the app “Stylebook” to take a photo inventory of my closet. It started off fine, and I was excited about the prospect of using it to create new outfits more easily. However, it has slowly become a monotonous time-sucker that I am ready to be done with. I feel like I keep finding new things to add, and I can never get my inventory “perfect” because I am constantly forgetting that sweater I left at my boyfriends, or that shirt that fell behind some shelves in my closet, or that I forgot to do all my purses and scarves. I just want to be finished already!

This brings me to a point that I think I have mild OCD…or rather, I never really outgrew it as a child. When I was young, I used to have a very particular “routine” that I’m sure drove my family crazy. I can’t quite explain it, but I was terrified that if I deviated or forgot something in this routine, something very bad would happen. I would make sure all the doors were locked in the house, flip light-switches and faucets on and off 4 times, and ask my mom certain questions before bed every night. It was a quiet nightmare that I lived with for years.

Somehow along the way, I swore I outgrew it. I forced myself to stop being so obsessive, and looking back, am quite proud of my commitment to halting this constant anxiety. I’m not even sure how I did it, I just remember when we moved during my 8th grade year, it wasn’t as bad as it had been previously.

But if I am being honest, I think it just translated into other aspects of my life. Shopping was (is?) even an obsession. Upon reaching a certain level of anxiety, I would find a niche that would alleviate it somewhat. It’s constantly changing and finding new outlets: running in college (I did four half-marathons in 12 months!), K-pop (okay, I’m still very obsessed with this), Lana Del Rey, blogging, shopping, taking an inventory of my clothes, etc. It’s not all unhealthy, but it can be if I find myself finding more stress in the activity/pursuit than alleviation.

I don’t really expect to have any followers, but this is supposed to be a journey for myself where I can grow and change my habits and my views. So, I promise to myself to be more consistent, honest, and happy in the days to come! That includes finishing this inventory, whether I am forgetting stuff or not!

On another note, my boyfriend and I finished our first half-marathon together yesterday. It stopped raining right as we started running, so that was definitely an upside to running 13.1 miles! 🙂

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